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Forum » General » Art & Show-Off » The Elite (A sci-fi short story I wrote. No clue if I'll continue.)

The Elite
TobiasDate: Wednesday, 2013-09-04, 6:30 PM | Message # 1
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Stall Mucker
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Chapter 1

 

        Aubrey looked at the test in front of her and chewed her lip. She was at the Testing Facility of the Headquarters taking a test, the Knowledge test, that would result in which section she would be assigned to. Aubrey was nervous; she wanted to do as well as she possibly could. If she got a 3,000-4,000 on the Knowledge test, her family would be rewarded with 1,000 or more Petos for teaching her correctly. Petos were the currency for Liberatio. Aubrey’s family was in much need of Petos since her father had recently abandoned them. No one in their section was quite sure why he had left.
        In Liberatio, citizens at age 16 have to take the Knowledge test. The test included the subjects Math, English, History, Science, Social Studies, and the foreign language test. Based on their scores --0 being the lowest, 4,000 being the highest-- they are sent to a specific section in Liberatio. These sections are split up based on the knowledge a person possesses.  There are four sections: Section 1, Section 2, Section 3, and Section 4. The higher the number the section has, the more education and resources they get.
        This all had Aubrey in a bundle of nerves. Of course she knew that if she was nervous, she’d do worse on the test. This made it even harder on her. Yet, the Knowledge test wasn’t like any other test. It wasn’t on paper; it was on a computer. The computer had wires on monitors hooked up to Aubrey’s head and arms. These monitors were supposed to control Aubrey’s thought response. Whenever Aubrey read a question off of the computer screen, one of the monitors picked up her recognition of an answer. The monitors were based to see if she’d trust her instinct to select or type the correct answer. Also, these monitors helped adjust Aubrey’s score to what it actually should be. She got more points for knowing the answer but not answering the correct choice and got fewer points for not knowing the answer but selecting the correct one. The government of Liberatio  believed that a person should be rewarded for what they actually know, not for luck.
        Aubrey concentrated at the screen in front of her. After a few moments, she would type an answer on the laser keyboard into the computer. The Knowledge test had a time slot of five hours. It may seem like a lot of time, but the test participants took all of the time they could. No one wanted to get a bad score. Their future and their family depended on it, some more than others.
        After Aubrey selected an answer for a question, her computer suddenly binged and the monitors and wires automatically unhooked themselves from Aubrey’s body. This signaled that Aubrey was finally done with the excruciating test. She was glad that it was over, but you could tell in that there was worry hidden in her dark brown eyes. What if she did poorly? What if she went to Section 1? She’d heard horrid things about that section, but she was unsure if any were true. Who would want to go there anyway? It was where the unintelligent belonged. Aubrey shouldn’t belong there, should she?
        Aubrey stood up from her cell -- the place where she was being held-- and stretched. She had to sit in a sit for five straight hours. She was only starting to feel a little hungry. Before the test, she was given three pills: One for food control, one for hydration control, and one for bladder control. All of these pills made her bodily needs absent for five hours. She needed as much concentration as she could get during the test. Aubrey shouldn’t get a low score on the test because she was hungry, should she?
As Aubrey waited for the security to escort her out, she pulled her curly brown hair out from the ponytail it had once been in. It was mandatory that she have it out of her face during the test, so it wouldn’t fall and distract her.
        Suddenly, a siren blared through the Headquarters’ speakers. A bell was clashing somewhere nearby; Aubrey could hear it quite loudly. In a  moment of pure panic, Aubrey dashed out of her cell and ran out into the blinding white hallway. She frantically looked left from right, trying to find someone to tell her what was going on. Strangely, there was no one in the hallway. It was isolated, the sound of the siren and the bells the only things present.
        Aubrey bit her lip, a nervous habit, as she decided what to do. She knew she had to stay calm, or she won’t know what the right thing to do was. Slowing her breathing, Aubrey took a left and started walking the seemingly abandoned hallway. There were multiple laser doors on each side of the hallway. Laser doors were more efficient than regular doors; if you’re wearing a special Headquarter badge, you will be able to go through. If not, the lasers create a type of force field that will not let you through. Depending on where the door leads, alarms may sound.
        The panic Aubrey was feeling was obvious. Her palms were sweating and her eyes were wild with anticipation. Aubrey was jogging down the hallway, looking for an entrance that would at least lead outside. Why hadn’t she paid more attention when the security were taking her to her cell? Oh yeah, she was freaking out about the Knowledge test.
        Aubrey met the end of the hallway. There were yet again two more hallways; one to the left, another to the right. Aubrey nearly groaned. Since when did the Headquarters have so many hallways? Before Aubrey could choose which hallway to go down, she heard gunshots. Not just gunshots in the distance, but loud booming gunshots that appeared to be very close to her.
        Without thinking much, Aubrey dashed to her right and sprinted down the hallway. She heard voices behind her, growing louder. She didn’t know who was after her, but they had guns and she wasn’t going to stop.
        “Stop and put your hands where we can see them!” A low voice rang out. Oh heck no. Aubrey thought. The pounding of her pursuers feet grew louder, so Aubrey knew that they were closing the distance.
        As Aubrey ran, she saw a trash bin full to the brim ahead of her. It was right outside  the bathrooms. Aubrey ran even faster and soon bullets were flying past her. They were shooting at her! Suddenly gaining a burst of speed, Aubrey made it to the trashcan and pushed it over. The trash inside spilled all over the hallway, making it hard to get past. Aubrey pushed open the bathroom door and looked around. Usually there was a small window near the top of the ceiling in bathrooms.
        Suddenly remembering she was being chased, Aubrey simply locked the door, as nothing could be pulled from the bathroom to jam the door. Aubrey looked around again and saw a tiny window up close to the ceiling. She just might be able to squeeze through it. Aubrey ran to the last stall, opened it, and stood on the toilet. Just as she was pulling herself up, she heard banging on the bathroom door.
        “Open up!” An angry voice yelled. “Open the door and then stay where you are!” The banging grew louder, and soon the banging sounded like thunder. Surely not one person could be doing that.
        As Aubrey pulled herself on the wall that separates the stalls, she saw the door creak from the impact. It was going to break soon. Aubrey had to hurry. She wasn’t sure why, but she felt as if this was a life or death situation. Aubrey reached over to the small window and felt for a lock. After feeling around for a minute, she figured out there was none. She’d have to break it open.
        The bathroom door soon came crashing down. Aubrey didn’t know what to do. Gunshots were fired, and some hit the bathroom window. Glass exploded everywhere, some digging into Aubrey’s pale skin and curly hair. Aubrey didn’t even think twice. As if in slow motion, Aubrey jumped toward the broken window. Her torso made it through, but her legs were dangling, free for anyone to grab. The person or people below were still shooting and suddenly Aubrey felt an excruciating pain swelled up in her leg. Aubrey let out a scream and quickly tried to get her lower half out of the window. When she made it out, she quickly collapsed. Darkness overcame her vision, leaving her with a dull feeling of pain beating throughout her body  and a puddle of blood pooling around her.
---------------

        Aubrey awoke to a beeping sound. Still groggy, she slowly opened her eyes to see a bright screen of a computer that read, “Test completed”. Scrunching her eyebrows, Aubrey slowly looked around her. She was still hooked up to all of the monitors and wires. It was as if she never left.
        Still not knowing what happened, Aubrey looked down at her right leg. It looked completely fine. There was no blood or bullet holes in sight. Before Aubrey could comprehend what was happening, her monitors and wires unhooked themselves from her body. She slowly stood up, afraid she’d hurt her leg. Yet her leg was completely fine.
        “Hello, Miss Caldwell, I am Mr. Hilmore,” A low voice said to me. Aubrey looked up to see a tall, blonde man smiling at her. “I am proud to announce that you have gotten a score of 2982. You have made it into Section 3. Congratulations!”
        Aubrey tried to smile, but confusion was still thick in the air. “Thank you. If I may ask, what was the last part of the test?” Her light voice filled the room.
        “Oh, that was the Decision Analyzation Test. You did well, except that some of your choices were not the best. One of them resulted in you having wounds from glass and from a gunshot,” Mr. Hilmore explained, his blue eyes flashing sympathy. “If you hadn’t made those choices, you would have made into Section 4. But all is well!” He smiled at the last part.
        Aubrey looked down at the ground, unsure of what to make of this. “Okay,” Was all that she said. Aubrey wasn’t much of a talker; she liked to keep to herself.
        “Well, Miss Caldwell, let’s take you to see your family, I’m sure they’ll be proud!” Mr. Hilmore beamed at me. If he wasn’t so enthusiastic, Aubrey might have taken a liking to him. He seemed to be in his old teens or early twenties.
        As Mr. Hilmore led her to where her family was waiting, Aubrey was deep in her thoughts. What would have happened if she wasn’t so panicked in her Decision Analyzation Test? Mr. Hilmore had mentioned that she could have made it into Section 4. Aubrey brushed it off, knowing that Section 3 probably wasn’t too horrid.
        Oh, how wrong Aubrey was. 


I have no clue at the moment if I will continue this story or not. It depends on the response that I get. Meanwhile, I will have it listed as a short story.
Feedback is my motivation, without you guys I have no reason to write, no reason to share my work.
If you think anything at all about my work, please take the time to comment! I appreciate it.
The picture is something I just edited for it. I have too much time on my hands.
Attachments: 4237243.jpg(85Kb)
 
EternalSerenityDate: Thursday, 2013-09-05, 6:58 PM | Message # 2
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I love it, Uno. tongue Reminds me a lot of Divergent, a favorite of mine, but at the same time it differs.

"I like people too much, or not at all." - Sylvia Path
 
TobiasDate: Friday, 2013-09-06, 6:08 PM | Message # 3
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Thank you! The reason why I wrote it was because my English Teacher wanted us to write a short sci-fi story... This is what I came up with. Ironic how it is actually probably one of my better pieces.
And yeah, it is similar I guess. xD If I continue to write it I'll try to stray away from the Divergent/Hunger Games/Legend ideas. No one wants to read the same book.
 
Forum » General » Art & Show-Off » The Elite (A sci-fi short story I wrote. No clue if I'll continue.)
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